Ek Heroin Jo Kharrate Maarti Hai!

Interesting title, ain't it! And how can you not watch or read about it.

Trust Aaj Tak and India TV to lighten up even the "dullest" day of your life. Now I am only writing the most interesting bits of this one-hour primetime special on Aaj Tak:
" Ek heroin jo kharratte maarti hai.... Kaun hai woh..... Aap bhi soch rahe honge ki aap ko yeh kaise nahi pata (bang on, that's what I think first thing every morning)....... khola Ranbir ne yeh raaz....... dekhiye break ke baad...... repeat all of it..... Ranbir ne khhule aam kia khulaasa ki Katrina kharrattein bharti hain.... apni aankhon dekhiye-> Quote Ranbir "At time Katrina laughs like: Snort snort snort"
And now the most interesting bit: ".... yeh ek raaz hai jo Sallu ko bhi nahi pata hoga.... aag babula ho jaayenge Sallu...bhala Ranbir ko kaise pata chala.... kya yeh hai ek Ajab Prem Ki Gajab Kahani ?.... aur humaare paas iske aur saboot hain..... Katrina ne khola Ranbir ka raaz.... Ranbir raat ko sone se pehle brush nahi karte (Damn!, Doomsday is here).... yeh raaz Deepika tak ko nahi pata.... and then they actually asked Deepika, who replied " I'm afraid I really don't know about Ranbir's toilet habits (giggles)"..... Aaj Tak's interpretation: dekhiye kaise sab ke saamne Deepika hui naraaz.... unhone saaf keh diya ki yeh unka niji mamla hai..."

Now wow!!! I don't remember being privy to such entertainment.... ever!! The look on Deepika's face when she was asked what she felt of Katrina Kaif's knowledge of Ranbir's brushing his teeth said it all. The reason I shared this was...well, I'm bored. And at such times, it takes something fairly stupid and lame to lift your spirits.

So at the end of a long, tiring, day...... Aaj Tak and India TV- Highly Recommended. Cause you've earned it :)

Almost Robbed!

I've known for a while now that it would take something fairly compelling to get me blogging again. And I feel compelled to blog today. If life is about unexpected events, then today has surely been a "lively" day. Now this one is going to sound like one scripted story minus the heroism(alas)!!!

Story Background: I'm on my way back from work at 5 pm. If my boss is reading this, I don't do this often, just that I came into work at 7 am today. Any brownie points for that? Anyway, back to the story. I caught a sudden cold today and on my way back, decided to pay a visit to the doc. Parked my car road-side, made sure I kept my laptop bag in a manner that it wasn't visible to the normal passer-by, and was on my way. Unfortunately, the doc had just left.

A quick stop at the chemist to pick up some cough drops and I headed back to the car. The excitement begins. I thought I had spotted my car among the many parked cars. But the driver's door was open and someone was leaning in. It took me a minute to realize that IT WAS in fact my car, that the anti-theft alarm was blaring, and that a guy was reaching in for my laptop. I crossed the road after making sure I won't get run-over in the hurry. I wasn't running, as I wanted to surprise the guy right when I was "on" him. But I guess my piercing look gave me away. I realized he had spotted me and I started running towards the car. After panicking and freezing for a minute, the guy dropped my laptop right outside the car and started running away.

Now I am the impulsive kinds, or so I believed till today. And in a hypothetical situation, I would have bet that I would have run after this guy and nailed him to the ground (or at least tried). Thankfully though, I got to the car, put my laptop inside, locked the car, asked a sabzi waala to stand guard and only then- started chasing the guy. Man, I can't remember the last time I was so mentally alert. Completely aware of the traffic and the fact that I should not get carried away. Now, they say people in Bombay don't help. But this one guy on a Kinetic rode upto me and offerred me a lift to chase the thief. I almost got on when it hit me that Mr. Kinetic could well be an accomplice.(I'm sorry if I got that bit wrong.... in which case he really was a genuine guy. Thanks!). Anyway, I chose to run instead, and lost him in some khopcha (hidden corner). I found the Kinetic dude talking to another guy driving an Astra in the by-lane where I was. I realized that there were just the three of us and a boy walking his dog in this 500 meter long lane. I maintained my distance and got to the main road, again, very aware of my surroundings. Walked back to the car, got in, and I'm home typing on my laptop. Ha! and Ha again!

Lessons:

1. It is possible not to let the adrenalin rush take over. I surprised myself by thinking straight and knowing when to back off. Thank God I didn't hitch a ride on the Kinetic or chase the guy into the deserted lane
   
2. Never leave your valuables in the car, even in a crowded place. And never assume you are the smart one by tucking away your valuables under the seat. Someone might just be waiting for a smartass like you (me, in this case)
   
3. When we read about people working in groups to rob others, it seems improbable that it could happen to us. But just being aware of such happenings can help you in tricky situations
   
4. Whatever happens, it really is for the better. Imagine if the doctor would have been there...mera bechaara laptop!
   
5. Girls have it all figured out: Major mistake on my part- not screaming like a girl..... a filmi immitation of the "chor, chor" dialogue could have served me well. I suggest that's the first thing you do should you find yourself in such a situation
   
6. Stay fit, kya pata kab bhaagna pade..... that's true for the thief variety and the almost-robbed variety
   
7. At times, it takes weird things and rude shocks to get you to do something you like. This got me blogging again :)

On a serious note, please beware of ---->your valuables, the fact that someone might be observing you and also be wary of people who offer help in such cases. Do not get carried away in the moment. Even if he had indeed run off with the laptop, it's better not to put yourself in a situation where things could turn out worse. At the cost of sounding dramatic, I'll still say that it never hurts to be cautious.

Done. My first blog this year. I hope the others aren't as filmi.

@ Uday, Aneesh, Chandu.... guys, I'm waiting for the promised blog-posts on my page

@ Priyanka: I promised I would ping you when I blogged again, hope to be more consistent this time

@ NK: Thanks for the motivation to get me blogging again. (Just to clarify, he wasn't the guy trying to flick my laptop. Nk was telling me to blog just the other day)

@ all the others: Hi!

The Trip Goes International

Way overdue, but a promise is a promise. Mr. Bansal, this one is for you

There are trips and there are TRIPS..... and this one was the latter!

Flashback: Goa-March 2008: We were on the boat heading back from Goa's so called "Butterfly" beach.(the machwaara uncle told us that's where u find the hot firangs sans the clothes :o. The only topless ppl we found were petu uncles . Bansal felt @home). Anyway, Mr. Microsoft (thats Bansal) decided to tell us about a land of dreams where you get sandwiches of a completely different kind.

May 2009: Bansal, Poddar and I were at the Mumbai International Airport. And yes, we were all set to board the Cathay Pacific flight to Bangkok. Did I mention we got the tickets dirt cheap. Now these Microsofties sure know how to live it up. Bansal flashed his priority lounge card and the feast was on. Cakes, pastas, booze and juices, waiting for us in a nice, plush, exclusive lounge, and free! After eating like we'd never seen food before, we were looking forward to the nice meal on board the plane. Pure gluttony!

Finally, after a long international flight (5 hours is long, ok?), we landed at Bangkok. After Poddar's due dilligence of finding the "cheapest" bus service to Pattaya, Bansal and I decided to take a cab anyway. Now all along the way, the pardes feeling just wasn't setting in, in spite of the nice roads and no traffic. But Pattaya ne hume kya pataya!!! Now that's a view I won't easily forget. Reminded me of the Monaco Grand Prix I've watched so many times. Absolutely breath-taking.

Poddar though was panting for a different reason altogether. Baby Dinosaur sounds were emanating all around....... "Kaaaahhhmm, Kaaaaahhhhmmm" (shrilly and nasal). After a lot of deliberation, we figured this was local slang to allure HANDSOME tourists and actually meant "come, come". For Poddar, this was the reason he undertook this arduous journey in search of inner piece. Thats not a typo! Out of nowhere, we suddenly felt what neither of us had ever before: sharam and haya. We actually felt weird and avoided all eye contact with the dinosaurs, that was till we finally mustered the courage to walk thru an inhabited lane. a brisk walk it was, with our heads held so low, anyone observing would have felt we were just caught doing something very bad.

Now there is way too much censored stuff between the last paragraph and this one. Doesn't that create mystery.... it's our official way of not accepting that our trip was rather uneventful. Although Poddar did almost find us a bhaabhi....Yoovi, was it? Walking Street, what a place to find us a bhaabhi, way to go dude. For those who don't know, try googling "Walking Street, Pattaya" and you'll know what I mean. Anyway, lots of eye popping stuff, but I'll focus on adventure sports of a different kind.

We had hired scooties and went biking quite a distance. Found a nice place for kite-boarding and other fancy water sports. After realizing that some were way too expensive and others we weren't eligible for, we went sailing. Really nice. I'd like to own a boat someday, as long as we can push Bansal off it the way we did in the sea there. And Poddar, i suddenly remember that this was the first time we noticed Bansal's now famous seductive pose, the one u got a pic of ;). Back to Pattaya, we were pretty thrilled when we decided to jump off the 53rd floor of a building. After debating whether we should sell it back home as a bungee jump, we've decided to come out clean. It was more like a really high slide. But that first step off the building sure is scary. Next day, we headed to Koh-Larn by ferry. For Bansal and me, it was the long water-scooter ride and the deep sea walking that made it worth it. For Poddar, it was the sasta price at which we struck the deal. Or was it the free coke we got after spending a grand each. Wait, it was the realization that other Indians were getting completely ripped off for the same stuff, while we weren't. All worth it, I must say.

There were more relaxed, quieter, less exciting moments like the massages, the late night swim in the uncleaned swimming pool of Nantra'de'Boutique, our hotel for the first day and a half at Pattaya. We then moved into Citin's Loft, again a steal deal. This entire trip was about steal deals. Amazing hotel guys, anyone visiting, I recommend you stay there, unless of course u got loads of cash and can afford the spa-resorts. Pattaya was done, I'm sure jucier details shall follow in the ensuing discussion.

Bangkok was all shopping, consciously not eating at the Pakistani restaurant, and bumping into the same Saradar-ji 10 times in an hour. Very India. Bangkok as a city is an obstacle course in itself. i wonder why Hitler built gas concentration camps. The stench in the streets of Bangkok could put the Machi market at Versova to shame. The tuk-tuk was fun, so was our shopping spree at Indira market and the night market, I forget the name. Thanks to Poddar's hour-and-a-half spent buying one pair of chappals, he got called a lady boy by the Thai sales girl. Much needed entertainment for Bansal and me. Don't miss MBK mall, the ferry ride, of which you will hear from Poddar, and the massages. Good things at the end of a long day I say.

Good trip, great friends, and memories for a lifetime. What could be better?

That's what girls would think. For us, it was the FREE BUSINESS CLASS UPGRADE on our way back. I'm sure we looked like bhooka, nanga bachaas who were just given a black forest cake, each!

The privilege lounge was vandalized again by three unidentified Indians. Their loot, about 10 cans of Beer/Coke was caught and detained, however. How cheap.... not that we took the cans, that they kept it!! Damn Thai Airport Security. We faced none of this non-sense at Mumbai.

On our way back, my first Vodka- the Cathay Pacific Special!

Way to go guys............ can't wait for our North-East India trip to Amritsar, Jammu, and Rajasthan :)

Sagar, missed you dude. Seriously, wahaan par bhi we were missing being able to pull your leg. But we made up on our trip to Hyderabad. Bansal, uss par tu likh ek post and I'll pitch in.

Cheers to living it up!

p.s: Microsofties so-called "free" priority lounge card cost us 8 grand a month later. I'll repeat it again, these Microsofties sure know how to live it up. Hum bechaare lut gaye!